Where Does the Time Go?

As cliche as it may sound, this morning I am honestly trying to figure out where all the time goes.
I feel like my babies just got out of diapers.
I feel like I should still be carrying them in my arms.
Instead I find myself setting out their clothes for their first day of school...

Today Lily starts kindergarten...

My little Sissy starts preschool...

The two of them are more than ready for their school days to start.
None more so than Sophia...

The girls seemed so big as they carried their backpacks and lunch boxes towards their rooms...

Lily was a little unsure about going to school last night.
I told her that she would have so much fun and learn so much in Kindergarten.
I didn't want her to scare her sister by getting upset, so I told her that she would have to look out for Sophia because this is all so new to her.
She seemed better by bedtime, but I still wanted to take Sophia to her class first in case I had to console Lily later on.

Sophia found her cubby and put her bags away...

She then stopped long enough to take a couple of pictures.
Sophia and Mrs. Hiatt...

Sophia and Ms. Jan...

And although I was dressed in my finest gym attire, I wasn't expecting a picture, but Ms. Jan insisted upon it.
I'm glad she did...

Although I wanted to stay all day, Sophia seemed perfectly happy immersed in her new surroundings.
I knew now was the best time for Lily and I to make our exit.
I gave Sophia a hug and kiss and my voice broke a little while telling her to "Have a great day."
Lily wanted some time with her sister as well.
She gave her a hug...

Then she looked Sophia in the eyes and said,
"If you need anything, I am right down the hall.  You can come get me anytime you need me."
She then brushed Sophia's hair aside and did this...

She truly took in everything we discussed the night before.

I knew with Lily around, Sophia would be ok.

Lily quickly disappeared to her class and I had one more moment to turn around to look at Sophia.

She seemed to be lost in thought for a second like she was unsure about being there.

In the time I thought about going to her and hugging her one more time, she pulled herself together and immersed herself in her surroundings.

Any doubt she had was quickly replaced by excitement.

By the time I caught up to Lily, Ms. Backie was showing her where to hang her belongings...

She found her seat...

Took some instruction from her teacher...

Then spotted her pal, Lyla...

Just like that, both of my babies were situated in their classrooms.

There were no tears shed by them, only big smiles as I walked away.

There was still 15 minutes before school was to start and for a moment I just stood there.

I felt lost.

I walked past Sophia's room hoping the door was open so I could go back in and spend just a few more minutes with her.

The door was already closed.

So I peeked through the window.

I didn't see her at first.

I panicked a little.

Then I spotted her among the toys and the other little people who I am sure would be her eventual friends.

I watched her a few moments more and then walked down the quiet hall towards my car.

As is tradition for kindergarten parents, the have a little breakfast once the kids have been dropped off... 

I didn't want to be antisocial, but I needed to be alone.

Instead of walking to the library, I walked to my car, put on my sunglasses and cried.

I know I should feel happy that my girls are so well adjusted that they could easily walk into their new surroundings.

Trust me, I am.

I just felt a little lost and wondered "what do I do now?"

The past five and a half years of my life have been spent caring for at least one child 24 hours a day every day.

Now both of them were in others very capable hands.

They still need me.

They always will.

But I also realized today that it's not just them who need me, it is me who needs them.